He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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