The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
