just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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