Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
