youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
