Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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