Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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