i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
