i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
