its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
