D3 body, D1 cock
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Randomize
