She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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