i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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