In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I touched a dick in church today
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
