I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
