I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
