How'd it feel making her break her religion?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
