you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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