She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
