apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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