you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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