I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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