you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
