well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
