Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
