I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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