If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
