U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
