When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm just crazy horny about you
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
