He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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