): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
