How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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