dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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