i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just want to make out with him forever
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
