last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
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