We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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