so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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