Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
