He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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