I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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