Got a toothbrush?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
