she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
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