Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
porn star boner night. come get it.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
