You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
