hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
The convent might be a nice break from real life
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
