Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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