Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
