Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
