I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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