Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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