cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
